What Could Have Been
by xBeautifulTragedy
Summary: Draco works as a spy for the Death Eaters, but gets Hermione to fall for him along the way.  One-shot.


_**A/N This was written for the Can You Write A Dramione Challenge :D by Dear. Dark. Destiny. (:**_

_**My prompts are Fake Romance, and how two people die and their spirits fall in love in the afterlife. :P I don't use the later prompt as much, I kind of hint at it at the end, but yeah. So that's what's up with the ending hahaxD Um, just forget the events in Deathly Hallows for confusion sake. **_

_**Enjoyyyy! :D**_

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_**What Could Have Been.**_

_Watching a peaceful death of a human being reminds us of a falling star; one of a million lights in a vast sky that flares up for a brief moment only to disappear into the endless night forever. ~Elisabeth Kübler-Ross_

I never thought about the people I would leave behind if I died. Surely no one ever cared about me. I was just Draco Malfoy, Lucius Malfoy's son, or Draco Malfoy, the bully in Slytherin. I was okay with it, to an extent.

I was always so proud of my father. I wanted to be just like him, to make him proud. I tried every chance I got to do something, so he would even just acknowledge my accomplishments. So, I did all that I could do at the time. I picked on people, especially people beneath me such as mud-bloods, while I was at school.

The war raged on and when I turned 16, I got a job from the Dark Lord that I knew would make my father proud. But at the end of the year, I couldn't even do that. I was a chicken. I couldn't kill anyone directly.

So when I turned 17, I had one last chance.

I had to become a spy. My mission: Get the other side to trust me. I would get information and report it back to Voldemort. He told me he chose me because I was still young, naive. I could get people to empathize for me more. He knew that, yet he gave me hardest job ever. I now know that. At the time I thought it was easy. I would get Potter and his friends to accept me, get close to the adults I've heard so much about, and then my mission would be done.

Molly Weasley, she was first. I've heard she cares about everyone, no matter their past. If I could get her to believe me, I knew it was only a matter of time before the others would believe me too. I went to her one rainy day. The Death Eaters knew where they lived, why hadn't they attacked yet? I would never know.

Anyways, I put a few scratches on my face, tore my clothes up, and used as many tears as I could. I told her my family disowned me because I wouldn't torture someone. I told her I didn't want to be a Death Eater anymore and I wanted to change my ways. She accepted me right away, which was weird considering all that has happened. Foolish woman.

Next was the rest of her family, and because their mother and wife had accepted me, it didn't take long before they did. Of course the "golden trio", as some called them, didn't believe me. So Weasley didn't take a liking to me, even though all the rest of his family had. I don't blame him.

Months passed, I hadn't gotten much information that could help my true alliance win the war. I decided I had to get Potter, Weasley, and that mud-blood Granger to trust me. I tried talking to Granger first one morning. She came close to punching me, almost like in our third year. I used the poor pitiful me act I had used so many times to get my way. She was a girl, she would fall for it right?

Well unfortunately she didn't. She was smarter than that. I almost admired that, or respected is a better word. I don't admire her, even to this day. But respect for her came naturally. Back then I knew it would take awhile for her to even begin to talk to me. I moved onto Weasley.

I tried asking him simple questions at first, like where his mum kept the bread in the kitchen. It seemed to work, as he did answer them. No, they wouldn't help me get useful information, but it would make some tension go away between us.

Eventually he warmed up and included me in plans they were making. He still didn't like me, it was obvious, but I didn't want him to like me. How pitiful would that be?

It seemed because his best friend trusted me to an extent, Potter started to communicate more. Granger was still as stubborn as ever. She tried many times to convince Potter and Weasley I was up to no good. She was right, they needed to learn to listen to her more. But at the time I was glad they didn't listen. Maybe I would be a big part to winning this war, at least I hoped I would.

One day everything changed. I was helping clean the kitchen, since that was my choir for the day.

_'Ugh why don't these people have a house-elf? Why do all this work? It's so barbaric.'_

I tripped over, well, my own two feet. I've never been one to be graceful, but I never have had a reason to be. I was carrying a few plates and one dropped onto the floor and shattered.

"Repairo." I heard a woman's voice say behind me. The plate that shattered mended itself back together. I turned around to see Granger standing in the doorway.

"You are really pathetic. You know that?"

Her words hit a nerve. I wasn't sure why, but they did. I guessed it was because I respected her so much, and she thought of me as just a pathetic ex-Death Eater. I took in a deep breath to keep me from saying a smart-ass comment.

"I don't trust you." She said next. It was an odd thing to say at the time. I broke a plate and that prompted her to say she doesn't trust me? Just meeting her could make any pure-blood believe they are better than mud-bloods. She was just so...weird.

"Well there's no reason why you shouldn't." I said at last. I knew it sounded stupid probably to her.

She laughed but she wasn't amused. "There's no reason why we shouldn't trust you? Are you kidding me? Let's review. First year, you hated Harry along with us at the very beginning. Hate can make people do crazy things. Second year, your father had Tom Riddle's diary which he gave to Ginny to open the Chamber of Secrets. Also you let out your true feelings for me by calling me a mud-blood for the first time. Third year, you used your father to get Buckbeak executed, and if it weren't for Harry and I, Buckbeak would be dead. You can just go kill things with no remorse. Fourth year, you always made sure you got in a jab at Harry telling him you hope he dies in the tournament. Fifth year, you joined the Inquisitorial Squad with Umbridge. You helped her catch us in the Room of Requirement. Also your father really proved his loyalty by almost killing Harry in the Department of Mysteries. Him being your father isn't helping your case right now either. And last but not least, last year. You were ordered to kill Dumbledore. So all year you were plotting how to kill the greatest wizard of all time. You thus became a Death Eater. So you know, I am so sorry I can't trust you now after all of it. I know there is an alternate motive to your actions. But I just can't figure it out."

A thought then clicked in my head. I knew how I could get her to trust me. She would tell me everything, even more so than Weasley and Poter. She was smart, but she was still an insecure little girl.

"I did all of that, I won't deny it. But you don't know my true intentions. I did it all, to get close to you. To get you to at least notice me, even in a negative light. When I first saw you, I thought you were the most beautiful girl I had ever laid my eyes on. I was young and confused, I didn't know how to express my feelings for you." As I said that I made my way towards her. I couldn't believe what I was saying, and how naturally it came. It wasn't true, none of it was, but I wasn't sure why I could say all of it so easily.

"Wow Malfoy, that's low, even for you. Lying to me to try to get me-" I cut her off with a kiss. I was surprised she didn't pull away, but she returned it. She wrapped her arms around my neck and deepened the kiss.

It wasn't as bad as I thought it would have been. I pulled away and didn't say anything. She looked at me and I could see the confusion in her eyes. It was at least better than how she looked at me before.

After that day, everything changed. We got closer and she told me everything. I was right, she told me plans nobody else told me. She told me more than that as well, she told me her dreams, her plans for the future, her thoughts, her past, everything. I sat there and listened. It was my job to get information, and if I got more than that as well, father would be proud. I could tell the Death Eaters personal things about Granger and her friends. That certainly can be used against them.

I would go out and meet a different Death Eater at least once a month, telling them everything I found out.

Potter and Weasley set out to attempt to defeat the Dark Lord, which I knew they couldn't do. They were up against the darkest wizard, and Potter can't defeat him with just a ginger by his side. Granger stayed behind because I asked her too. Plain and simple, I had her wrapped around my finger.

At that point, I knew the Dark Lord was going to kill Potter. I had successfully split the "golden trio".

One afternoon I was sitting in my room and I heard a knock. I immediately knew who it was before she opened the door.

She came in and sat down on my bed. It looked like she had been crying. "Hermione, what's wrong?" It felt weird to call her by her name, after so long of calling her mud-blood or Granger.

"I-I just feel like I betrayed Ron and Harry by staying here. It's just-" I pulled her into a hug, but she went on talking. "It's just I don't think I could be away from you either. I love you."

_'What?' _I was frozen. She had said she loved me. Who could ever love me? I have never loved anyone, I didn't even know what love really felt like. So how could she love me?

She instantly turned red. "I shouldn't have said that. I'm sorry, I should go." She ran out of the room.

I didn't know what to do. All I wanted was for her to give me information on their plans. I never meant for her to fall in love with me. I felt my chest tighten. I felt..._bad_. This twisted relationship we had would ruin her forever if she knew I didn't love her, and I had used her.

The war went on and I gave the Death Eaters less and less information. When my tattoo burned, I ignored it the best I could.

It wasn't that I didn't want to help, I did. I really did, but I couldn't. It was the respect I had for Granger...Hermione coming into place. The more I lied, the worse I felt. Every time she would come up to me, she would just smile when she saw me, and it would tear me apart.

It made me angry, for her to have such an impact on me. What seemed to be the easiest mission, turned out to be the hardest. I meant to unravel her from the beginning. Not the other way around.

One day Hermione came up behind me and wrapped her arms around me. It made my skin crawl.

"Draco, I've been thinking, and I just wanted you to know, you have saved me. I am a completely different person now because of you. I would be nothing if it weren't for you. Thank you for saving me from my future."

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About a year after I first arrived the house, our house, it was attacked. I saw my father in with the Death Eaters who came to attack. He saw me and instantly appeared before me.

"You...you betrayer. You left us, you coward. You had a job to do, and you couldn't even stick with that. You aren't my son!" My father yelled at that part and it felt as if he stabbed my chest.

It had been the first time in the past year that I had seen him. He looked more weary and broken than how I always have looked at him. He was growing a beard and his clean, neat blonde hair was now greasy and looked like it hadn't been brushed in weeks. His appearance shocked me. This is the man I'm doing all this for?

'_Doing all what?_' I thought. I couldn't answer, because honestly I didn't know what I had done myself. But my whole life was crashing down. It had been breaking piece by piece for months, but at that moment I felt it all shatter.

But I guess I did it all so at least someone, my own father, would be proud of me.

_I messed up._

Hermione came running to my side and she clung onto my arm, out of breath. At first I could tell she didn't notice my father standing there.

"Draco, sweetie, we have to..." She was cut off by my father.

"Sweetie? This is how you were wasting your time? With a filthy mud-blood?" Father became angrier by the second. He raised his wand and before Hermione nor I could do anything he let out the spell.

"Sectumsempra!"

I watched as the light from my fathers wand shot out and hit Hermione, who fell to the ground instantly. It seemed all too familiar from when Potter cast it on me in our sixth year.

Blood seemed to pour out from Hermione as she lay on the ground twitching.

"Draco..." She mumbled.

I knelt down beside her and held her hand. I felt like I wanted to cry, but I had no idea why. She was just some girl. I used her, why am I feeling like I am? I couldn't figure it out.

"Hermione, I can fix this. I can...just hold on!" Tears started to roll down my cheeks. Maybe I was crying because I knew she deserved better. She needed to know the truth. I didn't love her, but there was an attraction there. Maybe I could have loved her as time went on. That thought killed me.

"Hermione, I need to tell you something. You need to know the truth, I was..."

"Draco...shh. I don't need to hear anything. I love you..." She smiled and I could see the light leave her eyes. I felt tears well up in my eyes and I let out a sob. She just laid there looking at me, smiling. At least she died happy.

_What could have been._ The rain hit my face as I looked up at the sky. I almost forgot that my father had been standing there watching this scene unfold.

"You really liked her, I can't believe it. Well no worries. I'll reunite you two, how does that sound?"

"No father, it wasn't like that!"

It was too late. He made up his mind.

"Crucio!" I looked up at my father as he yelled the curse. My eyes widened as I saw the red light flash toward me.

I felt like I had died. People say you see a white light when you die. All I felt was immense heat. I couldn't help but scream. That's all I thought to do.

_Heaven and Hell._

I never believed in it before, but I guess I was wrong.

I know I didn't leave anybody behind, except her. She is in Heaven, and because of my mistakes, we will eternally be apart.

Now, I am just waiting. Waiting to see what is going to happen. For now, I am trapped in darkness, feeling like I am surrounded by fire. Maybe she will save me, like how she told me I saved her so long ago. But for now, I wait.

In my own personal Hell.

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**_One Year Later._**

_St. Mungo's Hospital for Magical Maladies and Injuries Patient History._

_Name: Draco Lucius Malfoy_

_DOB: 5 June, 1980_

_Age: 18_

_Notes: Hasn't improved. Conditions have gotten worse, patient screams often until given a sedative._

_Patient still believes he is dead. _

_Warnings: Has become extremely violent and is worsening. Be careful upon entering._

The healer looked over the patient history on the clipboard that had been handed to him.

He pushed open the door to see the young boy, Draco, sitting in the corner mumbling nonsense. Some could be heard, other words were too quiet.

He turned around and the doctor thought he heard a girl's name.

Hermi-

It was lost. Draco had turned around again and continued to mumble other nonsense.

A nurse came up beside the doctor.

"What happened to this boy?" The healer asked as he turned to face the nurse.

"Death Eaters used Crucio on him until he became like this. Some say it was his own father. Nobody knows for sure, but he often sits there mumbling about a girl he once knew apparently. He has gotten more and more violent, thinking we are demons of some sort. He thinks he is in Hell so there is no way for him to get better."

"Sad. The things the Death Eaters did to try to win. They turned on people on their own side."

They stood there and stared at the crying shrivled boy in the corner.

"Hermione...if only..." They heard him say as they left the room.

Just nonsense was what it was they thought until the very end._

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_For all sad words of tongue and pen, the saddest are these, 'It might have been." ~ __**John Greenleaf Whittier**  
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